Adventures in Marriage- Days 1-4,000

Remembering Clifton

Clifton calls every day. Every. Single. Day. If I don’t answer, the voicemail is always the same: “Wasn’t wanting a thing. Just called to talk for a minute. You don’t have to call me back, but you can if you want to.” Sometimes it’s annoying honestly. We are over here living our life, and he is intent on knowing every detail of what’s going on. It’s not uncommon for him to call three, four, or even five times a day. One day, we had been at Joe and Denise’s all day and when he couldn’t reach me, he panicked and thought about driving to Springfield to look for me. I don’t know why he was so upset that I wasn’t home to take his call.

At the same time, he brings us twenty pounds of chicken at a time so that we have plenty of meat to cook. He buys us phone cards to call home with, and on occasion, he randomly asks if we need a bit of extra money. On the one hand I love hearing his voice, and I appreciate his concern and his interest in our lives. On the other hand, sometimes it feels like he doesn’t think we are actually grown-up and capable of functioning as adults.

Life Lesson

Clifton passed away over a decade ago, a little more than 4,000 days into my marriage. He continued calling regularly until he left this life. I still look at my phone on occasion and wish I could call him. I have driven by his old apartment at times in hopes that it would help me remember the sound of his voice. I realize now that his calls were an expression of love and that he was rooting for us to succeed in life. I wish I had appreciated his presence more than I did, and I wish I had told him thank you for always caring. Time offers perspective. I understand his actions at age 42 in a way that I could not at age 18. Choose to believe the best about those you love. If they take time to check in on you, be thankful, and welcome their involvement in your life. We need people far more than we sometimes like to admit.

Young Adult Tip

Learning to function as an adult is exciting and intimidating all at the same time. It’s easy to assume that your parents and mentors are trying to hold you back. The truth is that they have a vested interest in your success. Fly high, but remember that Icarus could have been spared unnecessary tragedy if he had heeded his father’s admonition to stay away from the sun.