Up until now, these blog posts have all been drawn from older memories. This one, however, is fresh off the press. Those of you who are friends with me on social media have likely already heard a portion of this, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I’m just a magnet for this kind of stuff. So here we go…
I have six kids, two of which are sixteen-year-old girls that are learning to drive. Earlier today, the three of us ran to Dollar General along with my oldest son’s fiancé, Summer. Grace asked if she could drive, which was followed by Joy contending that she should get to drive instead. Finally, we agreed that when we left Dollar General, I’d let Grace take us for a drive, and then we would switch, and Joy could drive us home. This seemed to satisfy everyone, so off we went.
As we headed up a few miles from the house, I was looking for a good place to turn around. Up ahead, there was a small cemetery that I used to coon hunt by with my Dad when I was just a kid. I told Grace to turn into the driveway so we could switch. After she pulled in, I got in the driver’s seat and turned the van around and then let Joy get behind the wheel. Joy hasn’t driven as much as Grace, so we sat for a couple minutes with me giving her a quick refresher on how to pull out onto the highway and what she should do. As we were talking, a truck pulls up behind us. I thought, “Ah, the guy that owns the property on the hill is probably wondering why we are sitting here.” Not assuming there would be an actual issue, I stepped out of the van to say hello. As I open my mouth to say hi, the guy steps out of his truck holding a huge revolver in his hand, walks toward me with his finger near the trigger, and says, “This is not the place to be parking!” Well…that escalated quickly. Now it’s worth noting that we were not parked on private property. We were just off the highway, a reasonable distance from the property signs. I began explaining why we were there, and he cut me off and repeated, “This is not the place to park.” While he never pointed the gun at me, he held it out proudly to make sure I didn’t misunderstand the threat.
Now I must say, I don’t mind guns. I grew up in the country and have never been nervous about firearms. Nonetheless, I’m not particularly keen on having one used to intimidate me. I dealt with a good deal of bullying growing up, and I don’t get nervous nearly as easily as I probably should. Ignoring the obvious threat, I continued explaining that I was in the process of giving driving lessons to both my teenage daughters and needed a place to turn around. About that time, the absurdity of flashing a gun at a guy that was just trying to teach his girls to drive seemed to dawn on him. He acknowledged that he also had kids, and we went our separate ways.
When I got back in the van, the girls immediately asked, “Was that a gun!?” “Yes, it was.” I joked that not many people could say they had a gun pulled on them while learning to drive. Joy was not especially amused. She said this was one adventure she could have done without. As she was driving us home, someone came driving up close behind us, honking their horn. I had the hazard lights on because she was shaken and driving pretty slowly. When we pulled into the parking lot, they pulled in behind us. Being me, I walked back and motioned for them to roll down their window and explained that I had a student driver, and I was sorry I had slowed them down. They apologized. When I got back in the van, Grace and Summer said, “Well…at least that one didn’t have a gun.” How does this stuff actually happen to me?
Life Lesson
Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” During the incident I described in this blog, I felt very angry internally. A lot of thoughts passed through my mind, and it probably would have been wise if I had felt a bit more afraid. Still, I realized that I wanted to teach my daughters the right thing and that I didn’t want to make an already bad situation worse. Rather than speaking my mind or pressing the issue of why the man felt a need to pull out a pistol, I chose to explain why I was parked there and to explain that I was taking extra time to talk to my girls about safe driving. God was gracious, and it diffused the situation. Even if you are justified in saying something harsh, that does not mean it is the wise thing to do. We would do well to heed Proverbs 15:1 as well as Micah 6:8, which in the MEV says, “He has told you, O man, what is good—and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justice and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” In the King James Tradition, the word kindness is exchanged for “mercy.”
Driving Lesson Tip
When your sixteen-year-old daughter gets scared by a dude with a gun, it’s probably best to just drive home yourself. She was a nervous wreck the whole way home. Who knew?
Driving Lesson Tip #2
Teach your kids to be aware of their surroundings at all times. Even if they are trying to do the right thing, dangerous situations arise that we often have little control over. It’s important to teach them how to handle themselves, how to speak to people, and how to exercise wisdom in difficult situations. Remember, driving lessons are life-lessons.
Gun Safety Tip
The U.S. Constitution acknowledges the right to bear arms. In the great state of Arkansas, both concealed carry and open carry are legally permitted. That’s fine. Thank God for our freedoms. Please remember that with freedom comes responsibility. When you put a revolver in your hand during a tense moment, you are making a threat, regardless of how you wish to explain things. Be wise. Guns are not toys, and people’s lives have value. The right to self-defense does not confer the right to be a bully. I never wish to see a day when the right to bear arms is taken away. However, my heart longs for a day when we can lay down our guns and bombs and speak to our neighbors and even our enemies with love, compassion, and a bit of empathy. I long for a time when we truly value the lives of those around us. This is something I have to remember, and it’s something others should remember as well. Humanity is created in the image of Almighty God. We should value those who bear His image, avoiding violence and threats whenever possible.
A Friendly Reminder from Jesus
In Matthew 26:52 we read, “Then Jesus said to him, “Put your sword back in its place. For all those who take up the sword will perish by the sword.” Violence should never be our first plan.
A Friendly Reminder from Gandalf
In the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Frodo tells Gandalf that Bilbo should have killed the creature Gollum when he had the chance. If you’re unfamiliar with the books or movies, the ring they are discussing grants incredible power to the one who wears it. The author, JRR Tolkien, wrote it as a symbol of the peril of carrying and wielding power. The exchange is worth reading…
Frodo: 'It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill Gollum when he had the chance.'
Gandalf: 'Pity? It's pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play in it, for good or evil, before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many.'Frodo: 'I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.'
Gandalf: 'So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides that of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, in which case you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought.”
It’s easy to see evil. Choose to see and believe in something more. Forgive the more serious tone of this blog. Today I am an emotional Dad. Blessings to you all. Hug your kids tonight.